When Animals Attack! Episode I X X I

You know what...

I just realized, that I really don't give a hot damn about who sells the most records between the Teddy Bear and the Gorilla tomorrow. Well actually I kinda hinted on how I felt last month. But still, I don't care. People are acting like this is the biggest day in Hip Hop history. WRONG!

I can think of a better day from 9-years ago. Now that my friend is a day that was indeed Hip Hop History. You had one group putting in their bid for Greatest Rap Group of All Time, another guy beginning his 5-year chokehold on the game, another group bowing out, a female rapper repping for a gender, region, city, clique and sound and lastly, a group proving that when you're dope it doesn't matter how old you are.

And oh, how could I forget, 1998 was smack dab in the middle of the No Limit era, so you know Master P dropped something too. [side note: that CD contained one of the fiest UGK songs EVER!]

Hell, even on a more personal note I can think of two handfuls more that meant something to me.

I guess I was compelled to say all of this because I listed to both the Teddy Bear and Gorilla's albums last week, and um, I wasn't really impressed by neither one. The Teddy Bear named his album Graduation, but really, that shit should be called 5th Year Senior or Still Waiting On Financial Aid, after all, he did say "wait 'til I get my money right." I've already been called crazy for not christening this album, so you may have to come up with a new word after you read this.

Sure, the Teddy Bear's album is good. But, when did we start having to applaud people for doing what the fuck they supposed to do? Are folks liking the album simply because he ain't snapping, trapping, cranking, beefing? Aight, let me stop hating. Basically, I guess I just find the Teddy Bear annoying as hell. He reminds me of that kid from 3rd grade, who's parents had money, so he could afford to bring something new to Show and Tell, all the time. While rest of our snotty asses was bringing the same damn G.I. Joe man every week. Or, remember this? Bring a Transformer, in car form one week, and then bringing it back in robot form the next week, talking about its new.

Back to the CD. I almost got caught in the hype, but then I listened to it while driving, and realized, that, that shit really ain't just bumping like that. This is one of those industry albums that everybody wants to like because no one wants to be the sore thumb that says "its just okay." Hopefully, I'll feel differently a couple weeks from now. Or better yet, a couple years from now. Because thats the true test to see if an album is tight or not. Will it make you want to randomly pick it up one morning while you're getting dressed a couple years from now.

Now, as for that Curtis shit. Maaaaaaan...
He's one publicity stunt away from joining his boss in the "damn, dude done fell off" category. Listening to Curtis was the most uneventful 60-or-so minutes I've spent all year. The whole time I was listening to it, I was getting mad thinking about all of the other things I could have been doing instead of listening to it. See, I don't really get mad when 50 taunts broke people, brags about his money, or gives one of his trademarked rants at the end of his diss records. That's what I'd expect from him, his filthy fuggin rich, BIOTCH! But, he lost me as soon as the CD started with him shouting "NIGGA MY GUN GO OFF!" No it don't. I'll bet that its quite rusty these days. If you still in a position where you have to shoot people, then, well, you ain't as smart as I thought you were 50.

Forget both of them fools. Buck the establishment and buy B5 and/or The Cupid Shuffle on September 11th. And if you really want to support an emcee, buy Young Bleed's new one.

p.s. Check out the homie Noz' blog at XXL